I am a mother of four, two of them diagnosed with Asperger’s Syndrome, which is an Autism Spectrum Disorder. After feuding with my spouse about everything related to the children’s needs, I went to court to get legal custody of the children. Instead, the court awarded custody to my husband and ordered me out from the home, for the “safety of the children”. At the same time, I was awarded visitations twice a week plus one day overnight, all unsupervised.
The allegations? “mental health issues” “excessively dragging the children around town for unnecessary therapies, confusing and upsetting the children. Temporarily, for the safety of the children, the mother should be excluded from the marital residence”.
If your life was changed by Autism in the family, if your custody battle has gone wrong with accusations of Munchausen’s Syndrome by Proxy and other nonsense, please join this blog and share your views.
Children on the autistic spectrum pose additional complications and considerations during the divorce process. The ability for parents to work together in a cooperative parenting partnership is imperative to their success in negotiating the divorce process. Parents who engage in litigation leading to a significant degree of conflict put these children in a position of having to choose between them, a task too painful for any children especially those with the additional challenges of autism. Parent plans are challenging and the necessary intervention plan also requires creativity, effective communication, and the dedication of two parents who put the interests of their children first and not their own anger, blame, and resentment.
Was the MSBP diagnosis confirmed by an expert?
This is criminal; ripping children apart from a mother absent a thorough DV/forensic eval!
wish you well – a difficult maze to navigate. I have heard of this too..Bless you and your children
It has taken me a while to get back to you. Part of the problem, as I see it, in family court, is that each case is so different. We may not be able to find another with exactly our circumstances, and thus the corruption continues: divide and conquer. Corruption exists within the court, which then uses the differences between individual cases to cover its ultimate goal: a vast income for the state stolen from those who try to provide for their children. Each state has its own law thus complicating matters for those who choose to relocate – or to use that as a weapon. In your case, it seems that you are the best expert on your own children, no judge standing has that insight. We need full transparency, including all monies, a background check for judges, a competency evaluation for all judges, experts who can prove an in-depth understanding of the cultural, religious and traditional beliefs of the families involved…
Children, the most vulnerable and defenseless part of our society, are the most affected.
I wrote a long paper on the history of Munchausen Syndrome by Proxy and how best to deal with allegations of it–the paper should be posted on the Autism Research Institute web site. Lawyers and parents have mentioned it was helpful in dealing with the bewildering complexity of issues touching families with ASD. Good luck to all of you in your situations.
William R. Long, M. Div., Ph. D., J. D.
Thank you! I am a mom who lost custody of two children, one with Aspberger’s, to an abuser. My son went for 2 years without a diagnosis, or treatment bc the abusive father was refusing treatment…in part bc he did not want my son telling anyone about the abuse. I felt so alone until reading this blog.
My daughter was told by a child custody evaluator that she
is too overprotective because she does not let her autistic,
intellectually disabled son surf the internet. He was 9 years old
when his abusive father allowed him to do this. He would return to
his mother’s house and ask her what a prick, cock, rape or nigger,
for example, is. He would script things such as “Wow, those tits
are huge!”by looking up Blues Clues on the internet and getting
Booze Clues. At school he asked a worker what a blow job is. He
heard Sir Topham Hatt tell Diesal “It’s your turn for a blow job”on
the internet at his Dad’s house. He doesn’t even understand what
sex is. My grandson’s neurologist knows this is inappropriate for
the father to do. However, the child custody evaluator wouldn’t
talk to the neurologist. This is
crazy!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!